“The death of a child is never a finality. For a child lives vividly on in his parents’ minds. And the ache of loss increases with each passing year – as birthday after birthday brings new haunting, agonizing thoughts.”
Erich Segal
Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child. Show all posts
Friday, May 11, 2012
Monday, February 6, 2012
Very unique case
I just read about this unique custody battle of a 2 year old child who has three parents. The three parents have not being named in order to protect the boy’s identity & they live in central London.
The story goes something like this: the gay father was a sperm donor but he made a pact before the child was conceived that he would have limited parental rights but now he has filed a case against the lesbian couple since he wants to spend more time with his son. He was also married to the mother but it was a marriage of convenience & now they are both divorced. Actually all three of them were friends when they made that pact. The breakdown of the friendship has had the result that the boy is spending far more time away from his primary parents than they had anticipated.
Let’s see what happens but I believe all three of them should think about the child now before they think about themselves. The kid is the one who will suffer in the long. There’s no harm in having three parents as long as they all behave as adults. It’s not right on the part of the father to take them to court & demand full parental role after signing a pact when he was their close friend. However, his lawyer says that he has no desire to undermine the role of the mother and her partner as the boy’s primary parents, but he wants sufficient contact with the boy to enable a ‘developing relationship’ with his only son. I believe there is no harm in it but people love to fight over things. The couple had been left with a sense of ‘bitterness and betrayal’ & they wish they had opted for an anonymous sperm donor. I think all of them need to look at the entire picture & think about the future of the child, which is more important than developing grudges.
Well but I wouldn’t call it a modern custody battle as the media is calling it just because people involved in it are lesbians & gays. This case is about the well being of a child & I just hope the right decision is taken. As it is, I feel sorry for the kid. He’s the only one who will suffer. In the beginning, he won’t even understand why he has three parents, to begin with.
A child needs the love of both mother & father. When he/she sees them fighting all the time, it has a bad impact & it’s pretty deep too. Ask anyone who has seen parents fighting all their lives. You don’t believe in that relationship ever even if God tells you that it might work for you. However, this particular case is an unusual one but they were all friends, so they can come up with a solution.
The story goes something like this: the gay father was a sperm donor but he made a pact before the child was conceived that he would have limited parental rights but now he has filed a case against the lesbian couple since he wants to spend more time with his son. He was also married to the mother but it was a marriage of convenience & now they are both divorced. Actually all three of them were friends when they made that pact. The breakdown of the friendship has had the result that the boy is spending far more time away from his primary parents than they had anticipated.
Let’s see what happens but I believe all three of them should think about the child now before they think about themselves. The kid is the one who will suffer in the long. There’s no harm in having three parents as long as they all behave as adults. It’s not right on the part of the father to take them to court & demand full parental role after signing a pact when he was their close friend. However, his lawyer says that he has no desire to undermine the role of the mother and her partner as the boy’s primary parents, but he wants sufficient contact with the boy to enable a ‘developing relationship’ with his only son. I believe there is no harm in it but people love to fight over things. The couple had been left with a sense of ‘bitterness and betrayal’ & they wish they had opted for an anonymous sperm donor. I think all of them need to look at the entire picture & think about the future of the child, which is more important than developing grudges.
Well but I wouldn’t call it a modern custody battle as the media is calling it just because people involved in it are lesbians & gays. This case is about the well being of a child & I just hope the right decision is taken. As it is, I feel sorry for the kid. He’s the only one who will suffer. In the beginning, he won’t even understand why he has three parents, to begin with.
A child needs the love of both mother & father. When he/she sees them fighting all the time, it has a bad impact & it’s pretty deep too. Ask anyone who has seen parents fighting all their lives. You don’t believe in that relationship ever even if God tells you that it might work for you. However, this particular case is an unusual one but they were all friends, so they can come up with a solution.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Grandma becomes the oldest surrogate mother
This has been an amazing story. Pamela Butler’s daughter Nichola was not medically able to give birth, which is why her mom became the oldest surrogate mother in Britain. She is 57 year old.
Pamela gave birth to a healthy 5lb 12oz Josef by Caesarean section in August. And Josef is a very cute boy.
Although Mrs Butler was worried about her age but she wanted to help out her daughter.
‘It was the greatest gift I could have given her. It’s wonderful to watch her being a mum now. The doctors were wonderful and very reassuring. Luckily it was an easy pregnancy and it was the most wonderful moment when Nichola held her son for the first time. It didn’t feel like he was my baby but it was just that I was carrying him for Nichola. I babysit for him sometimes and he’s just a wonderful little lad.’
The risk for pregnancy increases with age. If you’re 35 or above, then you must decide carefully to become a surrogate mother. Anyway, this must have been a miracle for Nichola & her husband. The couple went through 4 fertility treatment, cause 3 times it just failed.
Nichola knew that she would not be able to become pregnant as her womb didn’t develop properly. At 1st she & her husband thought of adoption but then they decided on surrogacy.
Earlier this month, a court issued a parental order legally recognizing Mr and Mrs Pagett as Josef’s parents, as in England and Wales, at the moment of the child’s birth, the surrogate mother is also the legal mother.
I think this story is a ray of hope for all those people who don’t have kids. The desire to have kids is very natural. It doesn’t matter if you’re a fan of kids or not. Having your own child is a different thing. I think Nichola is one lucky woman & her mom made her dream come true. What more could you ask for!
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