Happy Mother’s Day!

Wishing Happy Mother’s Day to all the cool moms out there! 

Being a mother is indeed a very tough job. I know someone who thinks giving birth to a child is the easiest thing in the world & that’s why women never get tired of getting pregnant. I guess when you haven’t experienced a thing, you have no right to make insensitive statements. Not just biological mothers, but also mothers who adopt go through a lot. It’s not easy to give birth to a baby & it’s not that easy to raise a child. 

I’m proud of my mom & I know how hard it to deal with some children. To be honest, I don't think I could have dealt with something like myself :P

And if you’re not on talking terms with your mother, at least wish her on this day…once a parent is dead, you are only left with regrets. 

In fact, it’s not just about parents…We’ve got to be there while the person is alive.

Now I’m utterly disgusted

Unlike others, I just don’t believe in criticizing a person for the heck of it. I try to look at every case with an open mind. Those who have been reading me know that I have changed my mind a couple of times & I’m not ashamed of it. After all, I’m human & thank God I don’t have rigid views. 

Jamie Lynne Grumet happens to be one of those cases. This morning, she appeared on the breakfast programme Today. Now it’s obvious she too is into it for publicity. Although she’s not Samantha Brick or Sarah Barge, but she belongs to the same category. 

We don’t care if she will not stop breastfeeding her almost-four-year-old son Aram until he turns five. In fact we don’t want to know it but here it goes: 

“I'm hoping our fourth year is probably going to be our final.” 

“I understand some of the breastfeeding advocates are actually upset about this,” she said.

Since everyone loves to fix the blame, she too has attributed this outrage to the cover photo. How convenient! She believes that was just a one-sided portrayal of attachment parenting. I don’t think it’s right to fix the blame on the photographer or the editor of the magazine. This was a different case & that’s what the cover is all about. She didn’t have that maternal instinct. She agreed to pose in that manner. Nobody could have forced her to prove a point to the world.

“This isn't how we breastfeed at home,” she said in regards to the photograph, which captures the child standing on a small chair in order to take hold of her breast in his mouth.

"It's more of a cradling, nurturing situation [at home]. I understand what they're [the advocates] saying,” she said. 

Now I’m going to say what I couldn’t say in my other two blog posts. In my other write-up, I have mentioned that one has memory of things that happened while we were three or four...It’s not that vivid but we can recall things in bits & pieces. And yes Aram may not like it when he would see the cover photo after many years. You can write it down. I also think we need to go beyond the photo. When we read such things, we somehow have this disgusting feeling...we don't want to think that way about our moms. There are certain things which I couldn't say even in my 2nd write-up on her. I just can't...but now I'm utterly disgusted as she doesn't give up. And this is all about cheap publicity. 

Is this love all about? What kind of people have children? I’m really disturbed. How she has posed on the cover will have serious effect on the lives of her sons later on. Maybe the adopted son won't be bothered but the biological one will have severe problems. You know how people make fun of such things. These kids won't be spared, cause of this publicity stunt. 

As I said, we all can recall a bit about our childhood & these 2 boys are old enough to remember more than enough. I don't think the mother is deriving any sexual pleasure but the kids will look at it in another way. Who knows maybe they look at other women & think about their boobs...it may sound funny but you never know. 

Just go back in time & think when we are five year old…we had dirty thoughts even at that time. In fact I was three year old, & my brother & I got hold of this porno magazine…we were utterly shocked. Since I have a habit of thinking & that started too early…I raised a question in my mind, which I can’t tell you all but I told one of my friends & she said that she wouldn’t believe it but if I’m telling her, then yes a child could raise that kind of a question even at the age of three but she was adamant…had it been someone else, she wouldn’t believe it. By the time I was five, I didn’t miss any opportunity of noticing stuff that I’m sure other children also notice but they won’t ever admit it. The point is that her two kids must be noticing far more than what I did at the age of five for obvious reason. 

I don’t want to miss this part: 

Ms Grumet said that while she bares close bonds with her two children, her relationship with her husband is just as important. 

“I don't feel like it takes away from my own personal life, my relationship with my husband is very, very important to me,” she said. 

Now I may sound kinky but who knows maybe the husband is the 3rd child. You get all sorts of ideas when you read such stories. 

Moreover Dr William Sears who also appeared on the show said: 

“If you were on an island and had no doctors, no experts... this is what you would do naturally. I've never yet seen an attachment parented baby who's become a school bully.” 

What is this crap that such kids never become school bullies? There are certain moms who can’t feed their babies owing to complications. They want to, but they can’t. And those kids don’t turn out to be school bullies. 

I really didn’t want to attach sexual meaning to that picture, but sexual angle will affect the lives of her two kids. Maybe not predominately but it will have repercussions. 

I’m really tired of typing & even thinking about this bizarre case. I’m sorry to say but this special kind of attachment parenting doesn’t show such positive, fruitful, loving results. Both the kids have got such forced & fake grin. And that Samuel doesn’t even look that innocent.

Source: 'I'm going to breastfeed him for ANOTHER year': Mom pictured breastfeeding almost-four-year-old son on cover of Time will do so till he's five

The reaction happens to be more shocking

I have a feeling that somebody has been testing Newton's 3rd law :P 

Anyway, I had no intention to scribble anything on this topic but then I saw the article & yes I was curious as to how people are reacting. As usual people have reacted badly as they think Time Magazine cover went too far. Yes they have gone a little too far & this has worked for them very well. All of us are talking. 

I have been amazed by some of the comments. 

"Breast feeding is a natural thing to do, but standing on a chair and having mom stand there like she is a water fountain isn't the way to portray this," Yahoo! reader, San2, wrote. 

I think the pic is not that offensive as people are painting it to be but at the same it’s not all that natural & maternal. I believe all this publicity is bad for her two kids. Honestly speaking, I don’t even like to see this pic. Whatever it is, we don’t like to think about our moms in this way.

"As a pediatrician, I believe that every mother should breastfeed her child for at least six months, preferably a year (even longer if they like)," KP.MD commented. "This, however, is extreme. And the photograph -- everything about its composition - sends a message that I find tasteless and more than a little disturbing." 

You have the right to find it tasteless but we live on a planet where disturbing things happen on a daily basis. Why don’t we raise our voice against all of that? Why do we have to criticize this particular mother? Just because we find the pic tasteless doesn’t mean we have the right to torment the other person for her choices. 

"That is not the look of a loving and caring Mother, but the look of a defiant woman, daring you to tell her to cover up and/or wean her child," Yahoo! reader Can't Deny Truth added. 

This is being biased, cause just by looking at the picture, no can say she’s not a loving or caring mother. I don’t like the picture myself but I’m not as disgusted as these people. Yeah it’s strange to see a woman standing & feeding her 4 year old kid. As I said yesterday I find it really stupid how they are both staring at the camera. 

Anyhow, this is what the photographer Martin Schoeller says that the photo: 

"When you think of breast-feeding, you think of mothers holding their children, which was impossible with some of these older kids," he told Time. "I liked the idea of having the kids standing up to underline the point that this was an uncommon situation." 

The point has been clearly made. Yes this is uncommon, but he could have given it a maternal touch by giving better directions. After all, real mom was posing with her real child & still that maternal instinct is missing. That is weird. 

However, I think people love to raise storms just for the heck of it. They are more disgusted by the picture than by the idea of breastfeeding kids that long. And 5 or 6 years is too long. Some of us have been fed just for 6 months & I think we are all doing fine. 

We all have been kids & I don’t remember the things that happened when I was two year old, but I can recall certain things that happen when I was three or four. Of course the memory is not that vivid, but I still remember bits & pieces. I just hope you get the idea what I’m thinking. I just don’t want to say it. 

I believe only a child who has been breastfed this long could tell you about the exact picture. Right now we know the story of one side. I don’t think any such mother is deriving any sexual pleasure or molesting her child. Although Jamie Lynne Grumet herself has experienced this but no one is taking her word seriously. People are more or less concentrating on the cover pic. In fact people are shocked out of their wits by hearing this: 

"I don't consider breast feeding immodest at all," she told Time magazine. "I'm not shy about doing it in public." 

You have to look at it with an open mind instead of judging her. She’s not asking anyone of us to do that in public. Yeah she doesn’t feel shy or immodest about the whole thing. It’s her life. It’s her choice. Who are we to judge her? 

Another comment worth pondering over: 

"While this picture is gawk-tastic, I'm more disturbed by the title of the article. 'Are You Mom Enough?'" Yahoo! reader Chrissy from Conroe, Texas, commented. "I'm sorry...'Mom Enough?' So this woman is deemed more of a 'mom' simply because she chose to breastfeed her child until he was damn near as tall as she is?" 

Actually what I find more disgusting now is how people are reacting. There is an educated way to say things. You have the right not to agree. I didn’t like this question either. It’s like you’re challenging every other woman who doesn’t believe in breastfeeding her baby for 5 or 6 years but that doesn’t make that woman a bad mother. 

This is the kind of situation in which you can’t side with any party, because all of them have valid points. However, in the long run this interview & cover pic may not be liked by her 4 year old son. There is a huge possibility whether the mother likes it or not. 

But I believe people are hypocrites...they see one woman breastfeeding a much older kid, they are all dead against her. Since many approve of birth photography, they find all those who don't believe in it weird & curse them not to have babies. What's the god-damn logic behind it? I'm so sorry to say but I had difficulty watching those pics rather than this cover photo. However, this doesn't mean I approve of it or I like the pic. I don't...

Source: Time Magazine's Breastfeeding Cover: Moms React

Shocking Cover

Jamie Lynne Grumet is a mother of two & she has appeared on the cover of Time magazine as attachment parent. This woman breastfeeds both her kids. One is three & the other is five year old. 

And on the cover, she’s breastfeeding her three-year-old Aram as he stands on a small seat to reach her. He will be turning four next month. The other son Samuel is adopted. The history goes something like this: she was breastfed by her own mother till the age of six. Naturally she doesn’t mind breastfeeding her kids anywhere. It’s all very natural to her. 

Since we have seen lots of stuff in all these years, I’m not in a state of shock. It’s her choice. Who are we to criticize her? She has the right to feed both her kids & she has the right to come on the cover to shock people. 

I am actually on nobody’s side. 

It’s just that I don’t like to check out certain pictures & maybe it’s one of them. Once I wrote that I don’t have any problem with birth photography but I can’t see such pictures. I think I have the right not to see certain things, but some women took it so personally & left comments that I should never have a baby. You may enjoy watching those pics, because it’s your baby & your experience but I don’t think everyone will enjoy it & you can't thrust that kind of thing on me. You’ve got to be really backward & illiterate if you go around leaving comments that the other person should not have babies cause she is not obsessed with birth photography as you are. 

Coming back to Jamie Lynne Grumet who’s all for breastfeeding kids & she can still recall memories of being latched onto her mother's breast. 

“It's really warm. It's like embracing your mother, like a hug. You feel comforted, nurtured and really, really loved. I had so much self-confidence as a child, and I know it's from that.” 

It’s really tough on me to write on this topic :P Maybe that’s why I’m testing myself. 

“There are people who tell me they're going to call social services on me or that it's child molestation. I really don't think I can reason with those people.”

I believe they presume she derives some sort of sexual pleasure by this act.

She also runs a blog & she’s very proud of her mother. She wrote on her blog: 

“I love how my mother never made breastfeeding a dirty or secret act.” 

Moreover she also wrote: 

“When critics are making very uneducated analyses of these issues (with absolutely no personal experience), it actually hurts the mothers trying to care for their children. Find me a child that was breastfed past two that said they wished they hadn't been. Motherhood is hard enough then to hear constantly how you are caring for your child is "weird" or makes people "uncomfortable" is almost too much to handle.” 

Jamie Lynne is not the only woman who does this, even actress Mayim Bialik breastfeeds her three year old son & she has even written a book on it. 

Those who have no personal experience shouldn’t criticize mothers who want to breastfeed their kids. I have heard that you could breastfeed a child up to their second birthday. It’s also written in the Quran. But I have never heard that you can go on breastfeeding for so long. Moreover, there are kids who are confident & they were not breastfed for a variety of reasons. I think a mother would know what’s best for her child. I don’t think the world has the right to interfere. 

It’s just that we live in a world where we think it’s our right to find fault with everything that anyone else does. It’s okay what we do. For instance, in my country, there is this trend of hiring 10 year old maids who take care of infants. A 10 year old is herself a child. How can she take care of an infant or even a 4 or 5 year old kid? Sometimes the maids are older. And the question is: how could you possibly trust such maids in the 1st place? But those parents have the right to hand over their kids to servants. There are all kinds of people. 

What I find really stupid is how both the mother & child are looking at the camera! It’s nothing natural. It’s quite a made-up pose. And the woman has this attitude: come what may, I don’t really care! 

And I don’t like the question: 'Are you mom enough?' on the cover. They don’t have the right to judge mothers. Neither do people have the right to judge Jamie Lynne for breastfeeding for whatever reason & nor do Jaime Lynne has the right to judge others for not breastfeeding up to a certain age. 

And the shocking cover hasn't been that shocking. I'm not pulling out my hair & those who are...I think they need to chill. 

Source: Q&A with Jamie Lynne Grumet

Stop killing babies in the name of honor

It actually boils my blood whenever I read stories in which newborn babies are killed by their own parents or left to die in gutters or garbage sites. These people are more concerned about their so-called honor. Babies that are born out of wedlock are very conveniently killed or discarded by their own parents or relatives, cause they don’t want to bring shame upon themselves.

I really am clueless as to what do they mean by honor & shame. A person who has no problem in murdering an innocent infant shouldn’t talk about shame & honor in the first place. It’s just okay to kill the newborn baby & that doesn’t even make them feel guilty. There is no shame in murdering an innocent baby. They are more concerned about what people will say. They shed tears in cases when judgment is passed & they are punished but in many instances, they get away with it.

I also have problem with the word ‘illegitimate’ which is used for such babies. If there is anyone illegitimate in such cases, it’s the biological mother & father. They should be called illegitimate parents. And it’s the narrow way of looking at such children, which is illegitimate. Abusing & calling these children names is illegitimate. It’s the kind of thinking that closed minds have regarding these children, which is illegitimate & impure. A newborn baby can never be impure or illegitimate & no where it is written in the Holy Quran to kill such infants. 

Fatima Ali is another woman who had an affair with a nameless man. It was okay to fuck around but the man didn’t want the baby & Fatima was more concerned about the shame than shouldering the responsibility of the baby. I’m not being judgmental but none of them was raped. You can’t say the baby was an accident. Moreover, there is an option of abortion, which for some unknown reason such guilty people never opt for, cause murdering the child seems to be a more fun thing or something. I’m sure the woman must have been hurt after being used & discarded by a man but she wasn’t a kid. She must have known that she could get pregnant. 

Fatima gave birth to the baby in her bedroom & she cut the umbilical cord & left her to die, cause she didn’t want to bring shame upon her devout Muslim family. 

Anyway, she has been given a 26-week prison sentence, & is also suspended for two years, and subjected to a twelve month supervision order. You left a baby to die, & you land in prison just for 26 weeks. I think this is not fair. Moreover, they should also punish the nameless, illegitimate father who is seen nowhere. 

Judge John Appleby said, “You failed to seek medical assistance following the birth of your daughter. The tragedy that followed is at the immense disaster for this child. She died within two hours of her birth, and, had you acted appropriately, her life could have been saved. There’s no evidence that you ill-treated or assaulted the child and it’s still a mystery perhaps as to the course of action you took following her birth. This is a tragedy and the result of your actions will be with you for the rest of your life.” 

Oh the nameless, illegitimate dad actually has a name. In fact Fatima’s family didn’t approve of her relationship with Kazi Mohammed Dilwar Hussein & when she got pregnant, he gave her money to have an abortion in Birmingham in 2009. Giving the money to have an abortion doesn’t make him less guilty. He was equally responsible. It’s obvious that he gave this woman a ditch once she was pregnant. On the other hand, she behaved as a thorough retard. She could have asked for medical assistance without involving her family, but she didn’t do anything of the sort. 

I have read cases in which women/girls kill the babies & even bury them. We even mentioned one such incident in our book ‘If mortals had been immortals.’ The girl gave birth to the baby in the bathroom & then she tried to flush the baby in the commode. 

I know many people out there would judge me for writing this blog post, cause I seem way too insensitive, cause I’m on the side of those babies who deserved to live but were killed by their own illegitimate parents. It is okay to satisfy carnal desires & to know the pleasure of the flesh. They don’t think about honor at that time, but when the baby is conceived, they all start thinking about honor. The illegitimate dad manages to vanish in thin air cause men don’t get pregnant & it’s easy for them to fuck off at that point but the illegitimate mother doesn’t have the option to disappear anywhere. I’ve heard stories about the love of mother & that nothing could stand in the way of motherhood. Where is the love of mother for her baby in such instances? Both men & women are equally responsible. 

Every child that is born deserves to enjoy life. He has the right to know life & I don’t think anyone (which includes of course biological parents) has the right to deprive them of life, which is a gift of God. Fine. If you can’t keep the baby, there are other options. Some childless couple may adopt him & give him a better life. Why kill him? Certain questions would always bother me. I don’t know why selfish people have children & those who would protect them like anything never become parents. 

PS Please forgive me for using the word fuck a number of times in this write-up. I just couldn’t help it, cause I’m really pissed off at the way infants are treated. 

Source: Muslim woman let 'secret' baby die then dumped her body for fear of dishonouring her family

The longest labour ever

We get to hear about such strange things on a daily basis. A Woman named Joanna Krzysztonek has to lie 'upside-down' for 75 DAYS to save lives of her two premature children. She was supposed to have triplets but one baby died earlier on. In order to make sure that her other two babies survive, she had to lie upside down for more than 10 weeks. She even risked contracting infections that might have caused her haemorrhage while lying at a 35 degree angle for more than 10 weeks but she went through all that. Anyway, her baby daughter has been named Iga and the son is called Ignacy. These were the names of saints.

Some mothers go to such extreme length to protect their babies. This is nothing but a miracle. Joanna is indeed a very brave woman. We wish this family much happiness & love!

I’ve met women who believe that having a baby is the most easiest thing even though they have never been pregnant themselves. I just couldn’t say to them: get pregnant, face the horror of delivering the baby & then make such statements. I wonder what would they do if doctors ask them to lie upside down for the baby. Even animals have problem while delivering babies & I really don’t know where do such women live. Men can say anything as they don’t get pregnant. But I don’t expect women to be so damn insensitive about other women.

This write-up is for all the moms out there who genuinely protect their kids & do care about them. I’m glad I could say this about my mother.

A figure that has meaning

In Japan, they found the body of a mother hugging her child. This image is heart wrenching but you can clearly see the love of a mother. She didn’t leave her baby at such a bad time.

Mother Kills Her New Born Child

Every sane woman dreams of having her own child. Most women look forward to the time when they will hold their child in their hands for the first time. In fact, many mothers claim it is the most divine feeling in the whole world. But, these sentiments are of course not shared by every mother.

In Islamabad, a newborn baby boy was strangled by his own mother and grandmother at PIMS yesterday. Both the women were arrested as the hospital warden registered a case against them. The interrogation revealed that mother of the child got married to a relative of hers after she got pregnant with another man. She admitted that she was having an extra marital affair with another one of her relatives who is a 35 year old man. She had to hide her pregnancy and so quickly married another man.

Surprisingly, just after three months of marriage the girl had to be taken to the hospital on Wednesday when she had labor pain and she ended up giving birth to an otherwise very healthy baby boy of 2 kg. The grandmother of the child said that the baby was the result of an illicit relationship and so they decided to finish him off. The grandmother took the child in her lap and strangled him as told by the mother.

I am amazed at the man who even married the pregnant woman without ever thinking she was expecting and not only that - what was he thinking when he took her to the hospital to deliver a baby just 3 months after the marriage? Did he even have a brain or not? And these women sound disgusting. These women don't only disrespect motherhood but also demean the very existence of woman kind itself.