Monday, May 14, 2012

Kristen is the cover girl of Elle


Kristen Stewart is the cover girl for the June issue of American Elle. 

The interview is not at all impressive. One of the websites very rightly said: “the whole thing takes place in a bookstore.” 

Kristen has just devoured Alberto Moravia’s Contempt & yeah she’s on the hunt for the next one. 

“I loved it. Funny though, the movie is a comedy, but the book is so down.”

“East of Eden is my favorite, it’s big, and then Cannery Row. I’ve read them all.” 

My God, it’s getting too suffocated already but hold your breath there’s some more. Let me warn you right at the outset that this is one bad experience...it's beyond pure torture. You read this at your own risk.

“Have you ever read Lie Down in Darkness?” Stewart asks excitedly. “I want to play Peyton more than anything I can possibly taste or touch in my life. I want to play her so bad. Peyton is bright, beautiful, suicidal narcissist, preyed upon by her father. But Stewart, 22, sees it as more complicated than that. “Oh, dude, she fuckin’ loves it! She’s in love with him. I mean, I think she’s in love with him. It’s not his fault. They’re the most fucked-up family!” 

She doesn’t have different views about Jeffery Eugenides’ The Virgin Suicides.

“I fucking love that movie so much. I love teenage girls.” 

It’s like everything & every person is just too fucking in this interview. During the interview she has also referred to Robert Pattinson as her “fucking boyfriend.” 

“Oooh, Martin Amis.” Stewart plucks Money from the shelf. “My copy just got soaked – my toilet overflowed.” And then, “Oh my God, my fucking boyfriend just did this movie,” she says, referring to Robert Pattinson while pulling down a copy of Bel Ami. “The French, they’re up in arms that he did it.” 

Suddenly this obsession with books is getting on my nerves. You read for yourself, not for others & if you really happen to be well-read, people get to know about it anyway. You don’t have to tell them. 

Anyhow, here’s some more. This is how she thinks about the book Black Hole: 

“This f–king store is like kismet!” she says. “I want to do this movie!” The book, about a sexually transmitted plague, “is disgusting, so gross,” Stewart enthuses. “I love the first image” – she turns to a completely black page with a white vagina-shape opening in the center – “a slit. You just grow, like, holes in your body. The imagery is so weird. See” – she flips to another page – “he’s looking at her hand and soon there’s gonna be a little mouth in there. It’s so sexual the desire is so f–king palpable, but it feels so dirty, like [the characters] are so ashamed because they’re diseased, they’re literally getting these holes.” 

I really don’t mind using the word fuck when it’s required. Sometimes one is angry & it just helps, but I don’t get the fucking point as to why she’s talking about books & yet she behaves as one who has no class. Books certainly did not make a deep impact. Or maybe everything is so damn important that she has to put stress on it by using the word fuck everywhere. There’s another possibility. She has been so engrossed in reading that she has forgotten all about adjectives & perhaps she has reached the conclusion that the best way to describe a thing is to make it as simple as possible & that simple thing revolves around using the word fuck brutally. You see it fucking fits every situation. 

Now let’s move on to her experience of Snow White and the Huntsman.

Despite being terrified of horses, Stewart saddled up to lead an army of 250 mounted men charging down a beach in the rain. “I hated it,” she admits of riding. “I didn’t take to the whole mentality of f–king ordering that thing around – ‘Go now!’ You have to be an a–hole, basically. Not to say that horse people are a–holes to their horses. But you have to basically tell that thing who’s boss, and I didn’t want to do that. I was like, ‘No, do your thing. I don’t even want to be up here.’” 



I hope you’re having fun. I am thoroughly enjoying it now. I love this thing about blogging. I get a chance to test myself every now & then. Anyhow, I’m trying my best to make it readable but even I know I cannot succeed. 

She never went to school. So is this what home schooling does to a person? 

“Because I didn’t go to f–king school, I feel I would have had a bit something extra if I had,” she says. “Maybe because my life is so perfect, when I see the other side of life, it just seems like, almost like I want…” Stewart struggles for words. “You can learn so much from bad things. I feel boring. I feel like, Why is everything so easy for me? I can’t wait for something crazy to f–king happen to me. Just life. I want someone to f–k me over! Do you know what I mean?” That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? “Exactly. It’s one of the reasons I want to act. I love living in different worlds, because a lot of times mine is pretty nice and easy.” 

You’ve got to be a big time liar if you say that your life is so perfect, cause nothing in this world is perfect. And even if things are that easy, what’s bad about it? She can’t wait for something crazy to fucking happen to her? She’s one hell of a character.Today I have to thank both my parents for sending me to school, college & university. Believe me, I’m not deserting the word fuck. I’m kind of amused when an actor excessively uses it & that too in an interview, which is all about books. 

This girl wasn’t foul mouthed right from the beginning. Maybe it’s just a fucking phase. Kristen also has issues with nearly all her scripts. Everyone says that she is constantly going off script, constantly changing lines, constantly trying to make the characters sound more “authentic”. Since the poor girl is so worried about the script that she doesn’t pay any heed to acting & believe in giving the same constipated expression everywhere. 

Now we know this is what extensive study does :P It won’t be incorrect to say this was one fucking interview. 

Just in case, you feel like torturing yourself a little more, you can read the entire interview. I've provided the link below & yes there are some more pics of Kristen. Do check out the pics but stay away from the interview. It’s bad for health. 

Oh yes I didn't say anything about the cover! It's thousand times better than the interview. Even the other pics are fine. After all, she's a very pretty woman. You shouldn't expect everyone to be a smart ass though. And this is what happens to a person when he/she tries to act smart I suppose. 

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