Yesterday I tried to touch a topic that I often think about but somehow I couldn’t do justice to it. It’s really vast & there are situations & instances, which are equally painful but it’s just not possible to cover each & every aspect. Moreover, I had difficulty expressing myself & that’s something rare. I don’t remember when was the last time I faced this kind of a problem & there were so many things I wanted to say but I couldn’t. Honestly speaking, I’m still trying to understand things. I guess feeling something is one thing & understanding that very feeling is another thing. I believe different people have different problems related with both sex & love.
As I have been able to understand passion, I think the combination of both love & passion is a thing that’s has a very high price. Love by itself is a very beautiful feeling. Although people may confuse it with lots of other things & lay the blame on it for hurting them. It’s when passion comes in the picture that you truly understand love & maybe that’s why it hurts even more.
Somerset said, ‘when people say love can endure after passion is dead they’re talking of something else.’ It cannot be true in every case. Maybe it was never love right from the outset. It was just an intense likeness. We’ve heard things such as love is for once, people fall out of love, it’s also natural to fall in love with two people, etc etc. Different people will experience different things. What’s written in books & whatever we have heard so far from sages, wise people or our mentors may not be the thing that we experience in real life! Moreover what is passion for one person may not necessarily be passion for another. There are feelings which we have not yet named so far & most probably, we won’t ever.
I once saw Mallika Sherawat saying about her role in Murder that her pain was much more than that of an unmarried woman who has never been touched. She played the character of a married woman whose husband has no time to sleep with her. A fact that a person is feeling lonely & frustrated is understandable but comparing this situation with that situation is not right. You do not know how any other person suffers. There’s no instrument to measure agony. Today I even posted a song from another movie Astitva which also revolved around the same issue but the husband was also a chauvinist, abusive & didn’t miss any opportunity of humiliating his wife in front of others. She slept with her music teacher once & got pregnant. After many years, the teacher left behind his properties in her name & that’s when her husband became suspicious. He was so sick that he went through his dairies & discovered that it was not possible for his wife to get pregnant at the time as he was not in town. And he made her narrate that entire story right in front of her own son & his family friends. Her agony was not less in any way.
Although experts say that you must be honest with guys about these problems. I shared the story of 40 year old virgin who hasn’t even kissed anyone. Whenever she has been honest about it, guys don’t ever bother to ask her out on another date. To tell a person about your feeling is very different from sharing your problems with him. And problems that revolve around such sensitive matters are beyond people. No wonder they never bother to come back.
Now there’s another passage that I’d like to share:
“Love, sex, all that sort of stuff, just water-ices! Lick it up & forget it. If you don’t hang on it in your mind, its nothing. Sex especially…nothing! Make up your mind to it, & you’ve solved the problem. Sex & a cocktail: they both lasted about as long, had the same effect, & amounted to about the same thing. But a child, a baby! That was still one of the sensations.”
D.H. Lawrence
(Lady Chatterley’s Lover)
If you have reached this conclusion yourself, I’m sure it’s easier to stick to it, but if you are following it, cause you heard it, then it’s wrong. Having a baby is one of the sensations…no doubt about that. I’m sure it’s one of the most beautiful feelings. But having sex, kissing, falling in love, to know the difference between having sex & touching the person, to know that sex could be sacred, facing your wild side right in the face, experiencing things you never even thought about…all of that is sensation. Why deprive yourself of it cause books & people want to you follow a certain track!
I was a bit disgusted when I read Mimi’s affair with JFK, cause I felt sick after reading details. I tried to understand things from an open mind but somehow I couldn’t & I don’t even care that I failed. Probably it was just how I failed to understand a couple of things while reading Lolita. Anyhow, a person who never even kisses you & who just doesn’t even care that you’re a virgin while he screws you & asks you to satisfy his friend or brother is certainly not the kind of man one would want to think about in the first place. It doesn’t matter if he’s the powerful president of another unique, rich planet.
In this book Lady Chatterley’s Lover, this married woman was having an affair with the guy who belonged to another class but he satisfied her & he wasn’t using her in any way. At one point she says to him that she wants to touch him how he touches her. Naturally he inquired how does he touch her & she said ‘when you feel me.’
One of my friends asked me to cover other aspects whenever I’m in the mood. I don’t know when I would be in the mood, cause even now I have deliberately missed out a lot of things that I needed to say. It’s like I still don’t have the right words. But I believe each & every instance is equally painful. You can’t say my pain is bigger than yours, cause you don’t have any clue as to how the other person is living his/her life without feeding his soul. Or even if he/she has tasted everything in life, he might be having trouble & problems just like any other being.
As I have been able to understand passion, I think the combination of both love & passion is a thing that’s has a very high price. Love by itself is a very beautiful feeling. Although people may confuse it with lots of other things & lay the blame on it for hurting them. It’s when passion comes in the picture that you truly understand love & maybe that’s why it hurts even more.
Somerset said, ‘when people say love can endure after passion is dead they’re talking of something else.’ It cannot be true in every case. Maybe it was never love right from the outset. It was just an intense likeness. We’ve heard things such as love is for once, people fall out of love, it’s also natural to fall in love with two people, etc etc. Different people will experience different things. What’s written in books & whatever we have heard so far from sages, wise people or our mentors may not be the thing that we experience in real life! Moreover what is passion for one person may not necessarily be passion for another. There are feelings which we have not yet named so far & most probably, we won’t ever.
I once saw Mallika Sherawat saying about her role in Murder that her pain was much more than that of an unmarried woman who has never been touched. She played the character of a married woman whose husband has no time to sleep with her. A fact that a person is feeling lonely & frustrated is understandable but comparing this situation with that situation is not right. You do not know how any other person suffers. There’s no instrument to measure agony. Today I even posted a song from another movie Astitva which also revolved around the same issue but the husband was also a chauvinist, abusive & didn’t miss any opportunity of humiliating his wife in front of others. She slept with her music teacher once & got pregnant. After many years, the teacher left behind his properties in her name & that’s when her husband became suspicious. He was so sick that he went through his dairies & discovered that it was not possible for his wife to get pregnant at the time as he was not in town. And he made her narrate that entire story right in front of her own son & his family friends. Her agony was not less in any way.
Although experts say that you must be honest with guys about these problems. I shared the story of 40 year old virgin who hasn’t even kissed anyone. Whenever she has been honest about it, guys don’t ever bother to ask her out on another date. To tell a person about your feeling is very different from sharing your problems with him. And problems that revolve around such sensitive matters are beyond people. No wonder they never bother to come back.
Now there’s another passage that I’d like to share:
“Love, sex, all that sort of stuff, just water-ices! Lick it up & forget it. If you don’t hang on it in your mind, its nothing. Sex especially…nothing! Make up your mind to it, & you’ve solved the problem. Sex & a cocktail: they both lasted about as long, had the same effect, & amounted to about the same thing. But a child, a baby! That was still one of the sensations.”
D.H. Lawrence
(Lady Chatterley’s Lover)
If you have reached this conclusion yourself, I’m sure it’s easier to stick to it, but if you are following it, cause you heard it, then it’s wrong. Having a baby is one of the sensations…no doubt about that. I’m sure it’s one of the most beautiful feelings. But having sex, kissing, falling in love, to know the difference between having sex & touching the person, to know that sex could be sacred, facing your wild side right in the face, experiencing things you never even thought about…all of that is sensation. Why deprive yourself of it cause books & people want to you follow a certain track!
I was a bit disgusted when I read Mimi’s affair with JFK, cause I felt sick after reading details. I tried to understand things from an open mind but somehow I couldn’t & I don’t even care that I failed. Probably it was just how I failed to understand a couple of things while reading Lolita. Anyhow, a person who never even kisses you & who just doesn’t even care that you’re a virgin while he screws you & asks you to satisfy his friend or brother is certainly not the kind of man one would want to think about in the first place. It doesn’t matter if he’s the powerful president of another unique, rich planet.
In this book Lady Chatterley’s Lover, this married woman was having an affair with the guy who belonged to another class but he satisfied her & he wasn’t using her in any way. At one point she says to him that she wants to touch him how he touches her. Naturally he inquired how does he touch her & she said ‘when you feel me.’
One of my friends asked me to cover other aspects whenever I’m in the mood. I don’t know when I would be in the mood, cause even now I have deliberately missed out a lot of things that I needed to say. It’s like I still don’t have the right words. But I believe each & every instance is equally painful. You can’t say my pain is bigger than yours, cause you don’t have any clue as to how the other person is living his/her life without feeding his soul. Or even if he/she has tasted everything in life, he might be having trouble & problems just like any other being.
